stupid la u

i'm so tired bout it...i dont want stay there anymore...what i want n what i need all i can't do...what i no need to do then now all i will do it again n again...i hate it...i hate to see you...u always make me like a idiot...treat me like a stupid...you so selfish...i said like that not because of what happen today but is what always happen around me...make me feel that i'm a stupid idiot...here said sorry then later all thing back to normal...i'm so tired...who you are? why i need to be like that...u're not my bf or what...i treat u as my big big brother then what happen to me...how stupid am i...when i wanna help u then u always ignore me...then said something bad to me again n again...how stupid am i...make myself more n mroe suffer in my life....always make the wrong choice...just like teach at xin ming...not the school not good but it make my whole life change...my schedule need to change same as my plan...i cant go future study...can't go to church...my whole become terrible n kelam kabut since i'm work there...my students make me angry, sad, n disappointed...n ppl around me also same like that...i treat them with my true heart but they all feed back with bad thing...my student said i'm stupid...all thing happen very bad....God please bring me out of this situation...i'm very very tired bout this edi...i dont want stay here anymore...please teach me what should i do n what can i do to make this all thing gone in my life...TT_TT